Happi Hunting
by Ojosama
Summary: The Shinigami's get a misson to hunt down Happosai. So there's Ranma charas there and Watari makes an appearance!
1. Default Chapter

Happi Hunting  
  
********Disclaimer******  
I don't own any of the characters, but I do own a set of the mangas! ^.^ Ranma takes place anywhere in the manga and YNM is after the Kyoto thing, but before the shikigami incident.  
**********Nyao********  
  
In the land of the dead, Meifu, there is an bureaucratic organization that is in charge of judging the dead of their past deeds. That is JuOhCho. In that, EnmaCho, which is controlled by the God of Hell, EnmaDaiOh is the top bureau. Those who work in EnmaCho Shokan Division are otherwise known as Shinigamis.   
Two such shinigamis were getting their newest mission in Konoe-kachou's office.  
Kachou looked over the top of the folder at the two shinigamis, one nurseing a cup of coffe and a hangover and the other leisurely reading War and Peace.   
Tsuzuki Asato was the older of the two looking eternally 26 with dark hair and eyes while Hisoka Kurosaki would forever be physically 16 with brown hair and large green eyes. The two were as different as night and day and yet they made up the best team.  
Not the most compotent...  
"This is your assignment," Kachou said holding out the folder.  
Hisoka got the feeling Tsuzuki wasn't going to make any move to take the folder so he set down his book and took it.  
"Happosai?" he asked raiseing an eyebrow at the picture of the oddly shaped little old man.  
Kachou nodded grimly. "He's very *very* old and much too active for his age. He's been in our book for years, but no one's ever caught him yet."  
Tsuzuki's ears perked and he looked up wide eyed. "So if we catch him there's a big bonus? Itei..."  
Kachou and Hisoka sweatdropped then returned to discussing the assignment.   
"All you'll need is in that folder. You should start at the local dojo. We are told he has students there."  
Hisoka nodded picking up the folder and dragged Tsuzuki out with him.  
  
In the world of the living...  
Ranma Saotome walked on the railing beside Akane Tendo taunting her with his usual verbal insults.  
A highpitched "Aiyah!" warned Akane to sidestep slightly as a bike came down square on Ranma's head. The purple haired Chinese Amazon leaned over the handle bars and grinned at Ranma. "Ranma date Shampoo now, yes?" she asked in her annoyingly high third person speech.  
"No," Ranma said straightening up as Shampoo moved the bike. He would have said more had he not been interupted by a very loud yell.  
A yell that should have told him not to turn around, but to run. Very fast.  
"STOP, YOU OLD PERVERT!!"  
But Ranma, being Ranma, turned and got yet another headache as a very small man with a very large bag bounded on his head. Ranma was feeling very pissed about the amount of objects landing on his head and turned to yell after Happosai.  
Only to be trampled by the girls already yelling after Happosai.  
Akane and Shampoo leaned over the fuming Ranma who now sported footprints on his face.   
"Poor Ranma," Shampoo cooed.  
Akane gave Ranma a bored look and dumped a bucket of icey water on his head. "Ranma needs to cool off," she said as she walked the rest of the way to the Tendo Dojo.  
"What the hell was that for?!" Ranma, in girl form, snapped. She stood up and stalked off to the dojo for a hot bath and dry clothes. Shampoo bounded after female Ranma begging for a date once he - she - was back in boy form.  
  
Not long after the three girls had gone inside Hisoka and Tsuzuki walked up towards it.   
"I can't believe nobody knows where the old guy lives!" Tsuzuki wailed. This job was proving to get harder by the minute.  
Hisoka stared at the paper in his hands with a bored emotionless look, seemingly ignoring his partener. "It explains why nobody's caught him yet."  
Tsuzuki narrowed his eyes at the younger shinigami, but it was hard to stay mad at him. He was just so cute!   
Even if he was void of personality.  
"So! All we gotta do is catch this old Happosai guy and I can finally get a good mark on my record." Tsuzuki snickered and added under his breath. "And a big fat bonus."  
His purple eyes widened as a very large panda bear popped out of seemingly nowhere in front of him. Tsuzuki yelled and latched onto Hisoka.  
"GET OFF ME!!" Hisoka snapped pushing Tsuzuki away. He was starting to get used to feeling Tsuzuki's feelings and memories, but only when he was ready to. Then Hisoka noticed the panda.  
And the guy that popped up behind the bear.  
Hisoka and Tsuzuki blinked.  
"You really want to get rid of Master Happosai?" the man asked narrowing his eyes.  
The shinigamis nodded.   
The panda and the man got teary eyed looks of joy and clasped hand and paw. "We will finally be rid of the old pervert," the man wept happily.  
"Finally!" proclaimed a sign the panda held.  
Tsuzuki bounded up to them like a hyper puppy. "You'll help us catch Happosai?!" he squealed delighted while Hisoka tried to figure out where the sign had come from and why the guy they were after would be teaching a panda anyway.  
  
Hisoka sat back on the bed quite dazed with the information they'd gotten. Happosai was a creepy old guy with a panty obbsession, the panda was really a man named Genma, and Genma's son was boy *and* girl.  
What weird place. Small wonder Happosai kept getting away.  
Tsuzuki wandered in and smiled at his partner. "This is gonna be some big bonus, I tell you, Hisoka!"  
Hisoka sighed, but didn't get to answer.  
A woman with longish blonde hair pulled back loosely wearing a lab coat burst into the room. "I did it this time! I really did!" she squealed happily.  
The two shinigamis blinked at the terribly familiar looking woman.  
"Watari?" Tsuzuki ventured.  
Watari was the resident alchemist in their division and had a goal to create a chemical to change ones sex.  
It appeared to have happened.  
Hisoka nearly choked while Tsuzuki ohed and ahed over Watari's new cuvasious form.  
Ranma happened to be walking by the window at that moment and heard the words he had longed for his entire life since falling in the spring of drowned girl.  
"I hold in my hand a chemical to change one's sex!"  
Ranma's head peered over the window ledge.  
A chemical to change one's sex? I can be a guy again! A full guy!  
He jumped casually into the room and leaned against the wall by the window. "You really have a chemical to change a person's sex?"  
Watari, who was strikingly attractive as a woman, nodded emphatically and held out the vile to show Ranma.  
Hisoka frowned. The empath didn't like the feelings he was getting from Ranma right now.  
"Your sure it works?"  
"Of course! I even tried it on myself!"  
Tsuzuki nodded as if to back up Watari.  
"Prove it," Ranma said struggling inwardly to jump with joy.  
Watari held the vile out to Hisoka. "Here. Drink it, Hisoka."  
"No."  
"Pleeeeeaaase," Watari begged, but Hisoka stood his ground that he liked being male.  
Ranma couldn't contain it any longer. "I'll try it." Watari was extatic once he recovered from the initial shock of someone voluntering to try one of his chemicals.  
Hisoka rolled his eyes. "We don't have time for this. C'mon, Tsuzuki."  
"But I wanna see if it works!" Tsuzuki protested.  
"Of course it works!" Watari snapped and dumped the contents of the vile down Ranma's throught before the boy could protest.   
Or change his mind.  
Girl type Ranma blinked in shock. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. "I...I wanted to be a guy!!!" Ranma growled.  
Watari blinked. "But you were a guy. Besides this only chnges guys into girls. Not the other way around."  
Tsuzuki, Hisoka, and the all female Ranma blinked at Watari who simply shrugged.  
"How were you planning to become a guy again?" Hisoka asked suddenly afraid of the answer.  
Watari had obviously not thought that far ahead. "I'm a girl...forever...? WAAAAH!!!!"  
Ranma was fuming. Tsuzuki tried to calm down Watari while Hisoka tried to keep Ranma from killing Watari.  
"Your such a pretty girl," Tsuzuki told Watari. "Very cute." Tsuzuki could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.  
"I'm cute?" Watari asked sniffling.  
"Very." Tsuzuki gulped. "Pretty eyes and hair..."  
Watari looked in the mirror. "And big chested. I am cute!"  
All four were frozen stiff as a very small old man attached himself to Watari's chest with a yell of "Pretty lady!!"  
Watari screamed and kicked the old man into the wall.  
Hisoka jumped up. "That's Happosai!"  
The old man was unfazed and studied Hisoka carefully. "Why are you looking for me, girly looking boy?"  
"Girly looking-?" Hisoka lunged forward while Watari held him back.  
Tsuzuki leaned forward studying the old man carefully. He didn't seem so tough.  
"Its not polite to stare," Happi said hitting Tsuzuki in the head.  
"Its not polite to hit either," Tsuzuki pouted.  
Hisoka still fumed inwardly, but there was business to take care of now. "Happosai, we have orders to take you to Meifu with us."  
"I don't wanna." Happosai folded his small arms and looked like a small child.  
"I want to know why he's still here," Tsuzuki said. "We can't really just take him, you know. Whats your unfinished goal?"  
Happosai smiled an SD grin. "To have the perfect collection!"  
"Well thats easy!" Tsuzuki was estatic. "If I help you get the perfect collection will you come with us?"  
Happosai considered this a moment than nodded. "I am an old man and age is catching up to me," he wimpered. It was faked obviously to everyone except Tsuzuki.  
Tsuzuki was dreaming of that bonus.  
  
Once Tsuzuki had gone off with the old pervert Ranma went back to threatening the poor shinigami alchemist until Watari agreed to get to work on the cure.  
Watari was getting used to this new body until Ranma pointed out all the things bad about being a girl. Everything from 'that time of the month' to perverted old men like Happi.  
Watari set off determined to create the perfect cure.  
  
Hisoka stretched and wondered how Tsuzuki was fairing helping Happosai. It occured to him he had no idea what the old guy collected.  
It also occured to him Tsuzuki was actually doing *all* the work.  
While it worried him Tsuzuki would mess up and he did feel a little guilty, he reminded himself how set Tsuzuki was on getting that bonus and how much trouble Tsuzuki had caused in the past.  
"The less I help him on this one the more recognition Tsuzuki gets." And the less blame I get if he does mess up.  
"Hisoka!"  
Hisoka turned around at his name and waited as Akane ran towards him.  
"Have you seen Ranma?"   
Hisoka shook his head. "I think he's still with Watari."  
Akane smirked. "Serves Ranma right. What about Tsuzuki?"  
"He's still helping Happosai. What does Happosai collect anyway?"  
Akane's eyes bugged nearly out of her head. "You don't know?! And your still helping him??!!"  
Hisoka frowned. "I'm not helping him. Tsuzuki is. He has a tendancy to jump into things with out the facts. Is it that bad?"  
"Worse. Happi is a panty snatcher. His collection is stolen women's underwear!"  
Hisoka could only blink.  



	2. Chapter 2

********Disclaimer******  
I don't own any of the characters, but I do own a set of the mangas! ^.^ Ranma takes place anywhere in the manga and YNM is after the Kyoto thing, but before the shikigami incident.  
**********Nyao********  
  
Watari and Ranma stared at the vile eyes wide with wonder. None of their testing had proved fruitful yet.   
And their test subject was getting angry.  
"Ranma! Let me go this instant!"  
Mousse growled and struggled against the ropes that held him to the chair. Watari and Ranma had long since stopped listening to him. They were using Mousse as Watari's test to the new chemicals.  
As of now Mousse was a very kawaii 6 year old cat girl. Watari dumped a new chemical down Mousse's throught. Now he was just a girl.   
"Ranma!" Mousse sputtered gagging from the foul tasting liquid.  
"Shut up! We're gonna get this right!"  
  
Hisoka, meanwhile, was trying to find Tsuzuki.   
It was amazingly hard. Every scream of pervert! sent Hisoka dashing off with Akane following only to find out they were both too late.  
Now it was getting late and Hisoka sighed. "Who cares. Let him be a panty theif for all I care!" Hisoka flushed furiously at the stares. "Let's go back to the dojo..." he told Akane.   
At the dojo Tsuzuki sat bandaged and bruised.  
Hisoka faught back the worry and stalked over with an annoyed look. "Baka. Whadja do?"  
"I got beat up...by a lot of girls..." Tsuzuki blushed under the bandages.   
Hisoka snorted unpitiously. "Serves you right-"  
He was cut off by Genma and Souh appearing on either side grinning. "Are we rid of the old freak?"  
"Who's an old freak! Ungrateful students!"  
Hisoka had managed to get away from the ensueing fight and sat down beside Tsuzuki. "So?"  
"So we're going back."  
"Without Happosai?"  
"Yes. The old coot has too much will to live. And I can't take being beaten by that many girls. Cuddle me?"  
Hisoka pushed the puppy-type Tsuzuki away and glared daggers.  
"WAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!" Watari and Ranma dashed out laughing maniacly. Both in boy-type.   
"RANMA!!!" Mousse wailed from inside the room.  
"So your cured?" Tsuzuki asked.  
Watari nodded. "Naturally! I made a potion to make men to women and women to men!"  
"I want some of that women to men one," Ranma said.  
Watari blinked then looked helplessly at the bottle.  
"You didn't write it down." Hisoka mused flatly.  
Watari nodded wimpering pitifully. "Back to the lab..."  
Watari sulked off Ranma trailing yelling while Mousse continued to rant from the room.  
Hisoka sweatdroped and lead Tsuzuki back to Meifu. "what about your bonus?" he asked absently.  
Tsuzuki wailed. 


End file.
